Don't worry, there's nothing to worry about, nothing too offensive. I just wanted to celebrate that I've had a proper poo.
As a problem drinker my digestive system was no doubt one hell of a horrible mess. That said, as long as Mag was here (and she works away fairly regularly) I always ate quite well. Relatively speaking.
I always had something approaching diarrhoea though. The last time I got sober I remember well the joy of finally doing a proper poo, and I can celebrate that auspicious day again today. One of the side effects of Antabuse is what one of my fellow forum users on Bright Eye nicely called "fast poo", so that's another issue.
We never talk about our poo. I'm quite happy with that personally. I've heard stories of German toilets with shelves for faecal examination and the thought makes me feel slightly queasy. Embarrassment is said to be a massive factor in bowel cancer's growth as one of our most deadly diseases.
Anyway. I won't go on. I nearly wrote about sex, so think yourself lucky!
Cleaning my teeth and having a shave remind me of how much work I have to do.
I only recently started going to the dentist. It must have been 20 years since I last went. I've been lucky, no decay, no expensive treatment needed. I went back for a hygienist appointment on Thursday and got a bit of a telling off about how much work she had to do. Basically, I'm not doing a very good job of cleaning my teeth.
It's the same with shaving, and washing... even the most basic personal hygiene is a struggle. Why's that? Just laziness and the effects of 25 years of addiction I suppose. One stops caring. I also started drinking heavily in my late teens and I never really picked up a lot of the self-care skills that over-protective parenting had left me short of.
I'm getting better though. I do now have good routines. Or at least better routines. It's slightly shameful for a man in his mid-40s to be talking like this. No point in being ashamed, just need to start to change.
I've been cleaning the hell out of my teeth since Thursday. Honestly, you could eat your dinner off them. On my list for today is "have a shave" and that's next after this spate of blogging.
If you spent it, thank you for your time. If you'd like to talk leave a comment or send me a mail.