Saturday, 7 February 2015

And in the face of too much, we write lists.

I'm knackered. Proper Jacobs (for anyone not familiar with, Jacobs cream crackers are the bog standard cheese biscuit in the UK, hence the rhyming slang... don't mind me, as I say, I fair tuckered out). 

A little too tired to be writing properly to be honest. In a way it's good. I've just been busy. Busy with work, busy with my brother's visit, busy with my exercise class, busy with shopping, busy with cooking, washing up, laundry. 

These are just the typical things of average daily life. And I'm not used to average daily life. I've been running away from it for years. Now it's here, it's hit me quite hard these last couple of days.

I'm pleased though, because the alternatives are never better. And I will get used to these new routines, albeit they require a little more energy. 

Not so long ago, this sort of stuff would have wiped me out. Really, I couldn't have coped with it. 

Mags is away tomorrow and there's a problem with the car. Another thing to be busy with. And I'm keen to get some sort of plan of survival in place for while she's away. 

It might just be a daily thing. What am I going to eat next... yes, that simple. Luckily I've been asked in for my office job on Monday so that takes a certain amount of leeway out of that day. I'm also in a cannabis-free house. Monday's all-day absence makes changing that all the more unlikely. 

I had hoped this weekend to have more time for More than Sober. I had to have more time for all the time. I haven't added much in the way of Recovery Resources yet. I haven't blogged my way through my second self-help book. 

Getting better is taking up all my time. 

These are the notes I made for possible posts:

Thinking about loneliness. 
Learning to deal with the silence. 
Three things in a day! Fuck me! 
A loser and a doormat. (That'd be me.) 
Don't let the expanding life expand too far. 
Real life is tiring. 

I think the last one is the apposite one here. 

Getting better is taking up all my time. Getting better is working too. I have more concentration, I've noticed that I've started to listen to albums all the way through in the last few days. I often concentrate on my work with no radio on; this has been anathema to me - "learning to deal with the silence" would be the apposite one here. 

So now I still have a couple of things to do before I can sleep. 

Nos da. 

If you spent it, thank you for your time. Leave a comment if you feel so inclined. I wish you well.